I have seen a lot of folks when they hear “self love” they scramble internally. Namely for those who are not living in genuine love for themselves. They will either go avoidant, “of course I love myself” (leave me alone) or pensive “I think I love myself” (maybe?) or full on denial “that’s bullshit anyway.” It’s an interesting indicator of where a person is along the self-love journey*. And I get it, when your mind is depressed or stressed someone saying “you’ve just got to love yourself better” is probably the very last thing you want to hear. You’re sad or mad or just feeling bad and you want to feel your fucking feelings; not hear some hippy dippy peace and love bullshit. I’ve been there too.
In 2018 I got serious about making better choices for myself. To this day, I wear a ring on my right ring finger to remind me; I am worthy, I am enough and I am all that I need to be. The ring is from Kay Jewelers Open Heart Collection “leave your heart open and love will find it’s way in” was the campaign slogan. I cannot recall when or why I got this ring, all that I know is I wear it today to remind me I am in control of my life’s direction, I have choices to make every day and I am determined to make choices that most protect and serve my well-being.
Self love is not easy by any means, but it’s how we heal generational curses (hurt, pain, toxic traits); loving and accepting all of your self with sincere and genuine love. When you’re full of love it ripples outward, the same with hate. It’s all in our being. And a lifetime (even multiple lifetimes from our parents, their parents, etc) of hate and devaluation takes time to filter through caring kindness to become love. It’s a series of unlearning and relearning. Finding balance.
Boundaries are invisible lines which we choose to set by speaking up on what we do and do not want in our life. Integrity is at the core of being genuine, sincere and true to your being. Our relationships (personal, family, business) flourish when we operate in an arena of honesty and clear communication of goals with consistent enforcement of boundaries and limitations. When your focus stays on being true to yourself at all times your quality of life will reflect the work you put into your existence.
Lies are for leeches; users and abusers. Toxic behaviors becomes rapidly parasitic and we are left with a toxic wasteland guised as social networking. I have a vision to foster a community online where caring kindness and genuine growth are encouraged. I envision a utopian space where participants prefer to keep it a goodvybe. It will ultimately depend on those of you who join the community.
Sending love to y’all. 💛
self-love journey* is the most sincere way to view this process because it varies for everyone and fully depends on the relationship you have with your self — self love is the ‘how’ to healing internal wounds.