When you’re in a conversation pay mind to your goals of the discussion. Do you listen to understand or listen to judge? Every judgment we pass is a reflection of us, our beliefs and ideals. It’s impossible to know an entire existence in one conversation. We only deeply know our own existence and we can grow when we aim to understand, not judge.
I believe there’s a distinction between judgment and discernment. For individual survival we must discern what is and is not safe for us. This discernment originates from a survival perspective. Whereas when we’re in judgment it’s often an attempt to lower a persons status, reliability or authenticity. We are judging when we’re looking down on others and discerning when we aim to understand.
Obtaining knowledge is beneficial and developing on your understanding of that knowledge will yield growth. We can know a lot of topical information on many things, understanding takes time, patience and often compassion to refrain from judgment. We are all doing the best we know how to do. Learning is split into lessons because it all takes time and dedication to reach a point of understanding.
When you decide you know something and lose your curiosity to understand that is often where judgment will enter. “You don’t know” when others perspective or choice of words may just be different from yours. Furthermore, if someone doesn’t know and you do it’s a teaching opportunity. If you choose to shame another’s ‘stupidity’ on the subject you’re only showing yourself to be the fool and lacking compassion.
None of us have all the answers. To believe you do is likely a delusion of grandeur. Even a Jack of all trades will have questions outside of his trades. Let go of the idea we’re in competition, we’re all coexisting. It is ok to not know everything and it’s divine to dedicate yourself to understanding the things you encounter in life. Stay open to possibilities.
I know I do not know everything, not even close. My existence has revolved around psychology and healing trauma because of my experiences. We are all experiencing life individually and existing beside one another. We don’t have to like everyone and walking away is always an option. To sit and judge another with disdain is damaging you and possibly them, most definitely you. Even if you feel bigger or badder in the moment, that judgment is about you, not your target, every time.
Be well, sweet souls. 💛
If you identify with the neurodivergent community, would appreciate an adult space with a focus on support and betterment, I’d like to invite you to check out my discord server! Where shame, blame and devaluation are discouraged while compassion and personal growth are encouraged. The server is designated mature (18+) and minors are promptly removed. Multiple categories allow Members to decide what sort of content they’d like to see from the server using selections in the #about-you channel after joining. You’re invited!
2 thoughts on “Understanding”