We all make mistakes. A true testament of a persons character is whether or not they’ll be accountable to those mistakes. Those who lack accountability will cause pain for the souls their unhealed wounds bleed on. When we are accountable, we are able to progress and grow from our mistakes. There is little benefit to denial in psychology, although it’s a commonly used coping mechanism.
What denial does is repress a troubling situation, it denies the existence of a problem and effectively denies a solution. Many turn to denial because they don’t know what else to do about the situation. In a trauma scenario, the culprit denying accountability for their choices puts the weight of the problem on their victims shoulders. This lack of accountability is itself abusive.
Having tough conversations is inherently tough, they’re uncomfortable at first and often healing by the end. If a person is not willing to sit in a tough conversation with you after causing you discomfort that is all you need to know to give yourself permission to walk away from them. Furthermore, if their response to your expression of hurt is shame or blame, as in calling you sensitive or crazy, RUN. A person who devalues you (or your feelings) is not aware of your well-being, they’re self-serving and do not care if you’re good.
The way we talk to people is a direct reflection of how we talk to our Self. If a person does not hold themself accountable, they don’t introspect or pursue spiritual betterment. These are the cut throat ‘leaders’ who carry secrets of those they crushed to be on top. For some this is a vision of success and it’s a life goal. I’m among the ‘sensitive’ souls, I’m constantly developing myself and looking for how I can improve my well-being. I am accountable to myself and anyone who questions me, I’m not ashamed of my mistakes in life.
We all make mistakes. There are details of my life that I often tell on myself about that no one would know if I didn’t tell them and I tell them. Often times, especially when I’m anxious, I’ll brain dump every thought I’m having. That’s the beauty to living with a clear conscience. I’m not overly concerned about my rambles because I’m accountable to all my choices in life, good and bad.
I’ve been struggling lately with processing my anger around people in my life who refuse to be accountable to their role in causing me emotional pain. I’m devalued and shamed for being ‘too sensitive’ while the cause for my hurt calls me crazy and the continued abuse is enabled with excuses. We’re all in our own struggles. If you make a mistake, own it. Help each other heal and grow. Don’t dismiss cries for help.
Be well, sweet souls. 💛
If you identify with the neurodivergent community, would appreciate an adult space with a focus on support and betterment, I’d like to invite you to check out my discord server! Where shame, blame and devaluation are discouraged while compassion and personal growth are encouraged. The server is designated mature (18+) and minors are promptly removed. Multiple categories allow Members to decide what sort of content they’d like to see from the server using selections in the #about-you channel after joining. You’re invited!