If you have spent most of your life bottling your feelings or suppressing yourself, the idea of feeling feelings may bring up an uneasy feeling. You’ve survived so long pretending these emotions don’t exist so you can just “push on” pretending everything is fine. And that’s worked ‘fine.’ Feelings are messy, no one wants to deal with that. Who even has the time? Am I right? It’s ok, you are safe to be a living emotion-filled human. We all are. Give yourself permission to feel (in private if you prefer), so you can heal.
Emotions are guides, they exist as part of our human defense mechanism. They alert us to discomforts (adrenaline) and assure us in our comforts (dopamine). Our task as adult humans is to get in touch with our feelings, honor our feelings and process our feelings. It is in feeling our feelings (processing) that we find healing. If you do not like how you feel, consider it is time for you to change. Cycles that are not broken continue to cycle the same.
We do not “get over” hurt by pretending it never happened, that is repression. Repressing your feelings will cause more harm than good. When feelings are repressed they bubble beneath the surface awaiting a time when they can resurface (be triggered), beckoning for you to feel them to heal them. You will have to feel, honor (know they’re valid) and process all your pains before you will find peace within. None of this is an easy task to take on and that alone will discourage many.
Unfortunately, there is also no one size fits all, “do this, that and this over here” to magically unlock your feelings box. This is something you have to explore and discover for yourself. No one else can heal you for you, no one else can feel your feelings for you. You have to discover and do the work for yourself. The resources online are abundant and each of us will find benefit in different methods. Follow what -feels- right for you.
There is strength in vulnerability and bravery in a persons willingness to face their own feelings. It requires a pointed degree of integrity, complete honesty with yourself and how you are feeling. A part of avoiding your feelings is denying they’re even real. Your feelings are real and they are valid, be brave enough to ask yourself why you feel what you feel and how you can better handle those feelings. Therapists can help, when you feel safe to trust them with the whole truth.
I have personally been trying to heal a lifetime of trauma with determination since 2018. I have seen one therapist or another since 2006. Disciplining myself to write daily is an act of self love for me—I feel empowered when I can empower others. You’re welcome to browse my posts to see if anything resonates with you, ask me questions or share your own knowledge too. I believe we all deserve better than the bare minimum.
Be well, sweet souls.
If you identify with the neurodivergent community, would appreciate an adult space with a focus on support and betterment, I’d like to invite you to check out my discord server! Where shame, blame and devaluation are discouraged while compassion and personal growth are encouraged. The server is designated mature (18+) and minors are promptly removed. Multiple categories allow Members to decide what sort of content they’d like to see from the server using selections in the #about-you channel after joining. You’re invited!