While trying to improve myself I have faced much resistance with things changing. Who am I if I change who I am? Then the anxieties of whether or not the changes are good or bad begin to spin. Classic overthink sinking hole. Eventually though, we have to let go of the worries holding us back to allow change to happen.
I’m not saying a complete release of what was for what is now—though that is the most ideal scenario. Even letting go of that trinket that reminds you of your grief can be part of your release process. It is a process, that’s why grief is noted to have stages and grieving is not exclusive to a funeral service. We have many reasons for grieving in life.
When we end a relationship there is grief there, a strong sense of loss. While it is different from the grief of a deceased loved one it also requires our mourning. We have to reach a point of acceptance for the loss in order to move past it. For some, grief is prolonged over years and it’s important to note we all grieve in our own time and our own ways. There is no timeline or cut-off.
That being said, there is also a pitfall of developing a victim mentality which leaves you perpetually stuck in your pain. This is a difficult topic because the pain is very real in grief and we all deserve the time and space to feel our pain, it is key to healing. We are the only ones who can climb out of this pitfall. It is an internal battle and vital that you have integrity with yourself to embark on a healing journey.
I’ve recently noticed a victim pattern in myself and it is very awkward to navigate. Hurtful situations of my past pop up in my daily life like trauma whack-a-moles. It is a great fortune in my life today to have supportive and growth minded souls around me. Having examples of better in your life can help self-improvement remain a goal.
Healing is hard work and can often feel futile. The goal is to keep your focus on what you can do in your life to improve. We all know what we feel about things and we don’t always honor it. Dare to honor yourself completely and the changes will be rewarding. There will be loses and grief, keep your focus on your well-being and find other souls who want betterment too. Notice your feelings honestly and find your tribe.
Be well, sweet souls. 💛
If you identify with the neurodivergent community, would appreciate an adult space with a focus on support and betterment, I’d like to invite you to check out my discord server! Where shame, blame and devaluation are discouraged while compassion and personal growth are encouraged. The server is designated mature (18+) and minors are promptly removed. Multiple categories allow Members to decide what sort of content they’d like to see from the server using selections in the #about-you channel after joining. You’re invited!