To disregard feelings is to disregard a human being. We all have feelings and deserve to feel valued and appreciated by those we have in our life. Our society has a shame culture component that seems to be magnified online with belittling and devaluation in memes and trolling. All for the luls, right? Except it sometimes leads to suicide.
Yep, I dropped the S bomb. That is genuine reality: words do hurt and cruel words can poison our minds with lies of being unworthy. When your idea of humor is finding any quality to make someone feel small, you’re a problem. Bullying ought to be a grade school phase and adults ought to be capable of authentic accountability. Unfortunately many will choose denial and avoidance to hide from their own shame. This leads to shame projection, seeing the faults in others while avoiding self work.
Now we can bring up how the bully has trauma either at home or some other bully in their environment and that’s likely valid. Humans learn to be cruel, it’s not how children naturally enter this world. To be kind as an adult in a cruel world takes determination and discipline. Bullies are weak minded, incapable of facing their own darkness and tending their emotional wounds. The hurt of others provides a -temporary- sense of superiority. Calling out shameful things at others puts the focus away from their own.
The truth is that emotional and psychological healing is HARD, giving grace to people who are actively being cruel and refuse to reflect on their actions is HARD. Choosing to practice and live in kindness is not for the weak. This is why good, kind and authentic people are considered rare because so many will succumb to spreading shame to avoid their own healing. The internet serves as a breeding ground for hatred with so many believing they’re anonymous so their cruelties will not have any real world consequences.
We are continuously faced with choices in life, yay or nay. Some days I do not have the emotional fortitude to muster up kindness and I often focus on my own tasks to not put my foul mood on the world. I believe all of our choices matter and have consequences whether or not we’re aware of their cause. Reflecting on and making amends with the reality of our lived experiences is an adult responsibility. Those who fail to reflect inward are those who most likely project hurtful words or actions outward.
We all deserve to feel valued by ourselves and those in our environment. If you are feeling unsafe or unwanted where you are then you deserve to find a way out. Go where the love lives, where you feel validated and supported. I guarantee you it is life changing.
Be well, sweet souls. 💛
If you identify with the neurodivergent community or would appreciate an adult space online with focus on compassion over cruelty : consider my discord server! Designated mature (18+) and all known minors removed. Optional verification (ID required) for access to nsfw mature content. Multiple categories and activities on server can be (de)selected using reactions in the server 🔍INFO > #about-you channel (see ❗server-rules❕ for membership). You’re invited! “Keep it a goodvybe.”