Feeling like you’ll never let it go and having that pit of rage in your bowels. No one enjoys this and it can feel like you have no other option. When there’s no resolutions, no closure, we’re all prone to developing resentment about it. There are other options to seething hatred of others and you may want to hear this. When you’re ready to let all that shit go so you can breathe, there’s options.
“Holding on to anger is like drinking poison and waiting for the other person to die” is such a valid statement. Humanity is developing the emotional intelligence to understand anger is internal. It’s a choice to be angry and it will eat away at your happiness the more you hold on to it. So, what do you do with your feelings of resentment?
Firstly, your feelings are valid. We do not develop resentment without reasoning.
Here are a few options:
- Confront for resolution of your hurt — uncommon with abusers (they’re rarely accountable). Speaking up can help -you- process and find acceptance.
- Establish hard boundaries, non-negotiable or bendable to what you will and will not tolerate for -your- life. Get clear about what behaviors you do not want to endure or witness again. Maintain your boundaries consistently.
- No contact. There is no requirement to keep people in your life who cause you discomfort.
When boundaries fail, no contact is the cure to others choice to be careless. While no contact may seem harsh when it comes to family, recognize that being an adult is being responsible for your well-being. When people show you carelessness believe that they do not care until they show otherwise. If you would not tolerate it from a friend, you do not have to tolerate it from a family member. Full stop.
We have our developmental family we grow up with and we also find soul family in the world to help us develop our soul. Some may have the fortune of developing with their soul family. We are all flawed humans, doing our best. It is ok for you to do what you feel is best to protect you the way -you- want to be protected. No resentment necessary.
Be well, sweet souls. 💛
If you identify with the neurodivergent community, would appreciate an adult space with a focus on support and betterment, I’d like to invite you to check out my discord server! Where shame, blame and devaluation are discouraged while compassion and personal growth are encouraged. The server is designated mature (18+) and minors are promptly removed. Multiple categories allow Members to decide what sort of content they’d like to see from the server using selections in the #about-you channel after joining. You’re invited!