In my recent post, progress not perfection, I spoke about the pursuit of unattainable perfection. As human beings we are innately flawed, whether you source that from religion or life experiences—we all make mistakes. The pursuit of betterment includes being accountable to our faults. Mistakes are not needing of shame or blame, accountability alone can often dissolve the faults in our lives.
When we are accountable to our actions, we are embracing integrity, accepting we do all make mistakes. Often those who are not honest have been exposed to and may in turn become abusers. There is a conscious effort to choose honesty in a world that rewards deceitful antics. In the pursuit of betterment; honesty is required. You cannot lie to others or yourself -and- find healing. Healing is centered around honesty.
Self healing is a monumental undertaking and many will choose to live in denial instead of facing what hurt them. We have all experienced some external force of pain in our life. Some unwanted situation that lives with us like a stain on our soul. Washing that stain out takes a lot more than club soda—it requires dedication.
Depending on your cognitive development and the severity of trauma you survive, healing could very well go on your entire lifetime. Don’t be discouraged. In truth, we are constantly facing challenges in life and the balance to that is continuous healing, always in pursuit of betterment. The more skilled we become in healthy coping habits, the less we face setback by unwanted situations.
Even in 2006 when I saw my first therapist because I finally realized I needed help to heal, I stayed in denial about a lot. In 2018, after divorce and an unhealthy rebound relationship, I became more determined to figure healing out. I could no longer accept entire weeks in my bed, not eating or caring for myself because depression kept me locked there. I knew then, there had to be better than this and I wanted to figure it out.
There’s a lot of give and take in all of life. Existence in harmony requires balance. In my own pursuit of betterment I have found that people will tell you what value you hold in their heart by how they behave. Do not believe words, people lie — believe actions and try to be kind. We are all doing our best and change takes time. It is always ok to walk away from those who discomfort you. Unconditional love is not unconditional tolerance. Protect your betterment and continue your pursuit.
Be well, sweet souls. 💛
If you identify with the neurodivergent community, would appreciate an adult space with a focus on support and betterment, I’d like to invite you to check out my discord server! Where shame, blame and devaluation are discouraged while compassion and personal growth are encouraged. The server is designated mature (18+) and minors are promptly removed. Multiple categories allow Members to decide what sort of content they’d like to see from the server using selections in the #about-you channel after joining. You’re invited!