I have seen a lot of folks when they hear “self love” they scramble internally. Namely for those who are not living in genuine love for themselves. They will either go avoidant, “of course I love myself” (leave me alone) or pensive “I think I love myself” (maybe?) or full on denial “that’s bullshit anyway.” It’s an interesting indicator of where a person has progressed along their own healing journey.
Of course, when your mind is depressed or stressed someone saying “you’ve just got to love yourself better” is probably the very last thing you want to hear. You’re sad or mad or just feeling bad and you want to feel your fucking feelings; not hear some hippy dippy peace and love bullshit. I get it. It is also very important for you to get that you deserve your own love and support.
Self love is not easy for those who have lived in self loathing. There’s a literal breaking down and rebuilding old habits anew. We have to change our internal dialogue from shame and blame into care and compassion. Learning to love and accept all of your self with sincere, genuine integrity and care. It’s no easy task and it’s deeply rewarding.
When you’re full of love it ripples outward, the same with hate. It all starts in our being. Building boundaries is an incredible practice that helps you protect your well-being as you progress forward. There will always be good and bad that requires balancing in life. We are always left with choices to make and consequences to face. Being attune to what you want in life will help you find others who want the same and grow with you.
Our relationships (personal, family, business) flourish when we operate in a space of honesty and clear communication with consistent enforcement of boundaries and limitations. We each co-existence interdependent of each other. No one knows your preferences or tolerances until you let them know. Some will try to push past your boundaries and those who respect you will respect your limits. Go where the love is.
We don’t typically think about the lies we tell our Self. If you carry a belief that you’re not good enough — that’s a lie. We are all out here doing our best. The goal is to authentically and genuinely love who you are and the choices you’re making. Self love is an alignment with self control, shaping yourself into a being of compassion.
Be well, sweet souls. 💛
If you identify with the neurodivergent community, would appreciate an adult space with a focus on support and betterment, I’d like to invite you to check out my discord server! Where shame, blame and devaluation are discouraged while compassion and personal growth are encouraged. The server is designated mature (18+) and minors are promptly removed. Multiple categories allow Members to decide what sort of content they’d like to see from the server using selections in the #about-you channel after joining. You’re invited!